Updated: Oct 29, 2020
One of the many roles of parents is to teach our children how they can be the best that they can be.
The more honest we can have our children be with themselves and with others, the better they are able to navigate difficult situations.
The more resilient they will be towards the poor decisions and actions of others.
The more efficient they will be to implement effective coping strategies in times of need.
How do we support our children to communicate how they feel without taking on more challenging feelings or retaliation from others?
Enter the strategies that I often use called F.B.I. which stands for :
While I did not create this strategy, it is one that I personally use and have also taught my two children, hence, why I am sharing it with you as well today.
Here is an example of how it works:
I felt angry (Feeling) that you pushed me (Behaviour) instead of asking me.
Now I don't feel like playing with you anymore (Impact).
Making others aware of how their action impacts you, provide others with the opportunity to understand the impact of their behaviours as well as gives them a chance to self correct their behaviour next time.
By not speaking up, we are encouraging these negative behaviours to continue.
We are essentially providing others with permission to keep treating us that way.
Which only leads to a multitude of problems.
Modelling the F.B.I strategy to your children when they have done something pleasant or disappointing is a great way to start teaching them the strategy.
Need help or have questions on how to implement this with your family?
Success in Steps can help via individual virtual parent consultation.
Contact me today https://www.successinsteps.ca/contact
Sylvia Corzato is a parent consultant & behaviour coach, and owner of Success in Steps. With over 20 years of experience supporting children and their families, Sylvia provides parents with tailored support and strategies to help them understand the 'why' behind the behaviours along with 'what' is maintaining them.
Her mission is to enable parents to be the driving force behind reaching and maintaining their family goals.